An Imaginary Conversation with BritBox on Receipt of a Rate Hike
No historical import or great social insight in this, so don't open if you hoped for some degree of sagacity or perspicacity.
BritBox: "We are updating our prices in the US."
Me: "So, you're raising your prices. Again.”
BritBox: “We feel that updating is a more holistic and comprehensive framing.”
Me: “You’re about to charge more than you used to.”
BritBox: “Right now you’re paying the same as you have.”
Me: “Except it was $6.99 in 2020.”
BritBox: “We don’t like to feel anchored to the past.”
Me: “And it was $6.99 in 2021.”
BritBox: “We keep our eyes on the future.”
Me: “And in 2022 it went up to $7.99 a month. Do you know how much more that is?”
BritBox: “Less than a few caramel macchiatos during the year.”
Me: “A 14.3% jump.”
BritBox: “Sorry, we’re creatives and not that good at arithmetic.”
Me: “Now you’re raising it to $8.99 a month, a jump…”
BritBox: “Is the air getting heavy in here?”
Me: “…of 12.5% a year.”
BritBox: “See? Even less than the previous update, so we’re saving you money.”
Me: “All more than inflation.”
BritBox: “We’re British. Our inflation is more inflated.”
Me: “And what will it be next year?”
BritBox: “Well, if you truly appreciate the value we bring and pay for a year in advance…”
Me: “Yes?”
BritBox: “Still far less than a revolution and tossing tea off a ship. And now your national credit rating slipped. Maybe you have more substantive things to worry about.”
Me: “Maybe I should worry about whether I can continue to justify the expense.”
BritBox: “Just remember the special transatlantic relationship we have. And while you do, excuse us, but we’re going to slip out for a cup of tea.”
Me: “Cowards.”
BritBox: “Sorry, we’re in a quaint English village having a cuppa and trying to avoid being murdered as part of a lighthearted mystery. Laters.”